Ups and downs. But mostly ups.

Been a little low these past few days... but no big crash like I've been kind of waiting for.  But in general, overall, doing much better. 

I had such a high point after the fundraising page was started... Amazing what happens when you open yourself up like that.  I'm just BLOWN AWAY when I think about all those who have shared, donated, written a note, sent us clothing for the boys, sent out emails and given in whatever way they could.  Wow.  I couldn't do this without YOU!  I hope you all know how much it means and how grateful we are.  It makes me cry... I'm just amazed.

And lightheaded... ugh.  Just the most recent symptom on a LONG list unfortunately.  But I get ahead of myself.   

 I think working on Saranda's gravestone has brought up some more stuff.  It felt so good.  But also so wrong.  I must have thought a thousand times "I wish I could have made so many other things for you Saranda... not this."  Is it weird that I think I actually didn't want to finish it?  We knew it would be done soon, and wanted to go work on it one more time... but I got a sick feeling in my stomach... wanted to put it off.  Then realized, it's just one more thing that makes it so real.  It happened.  My baby girl is gone. 

Here's us at the workshop where the gravestone will be finished. 

And, of course, the rough draft (pic below).

  My hand is on there to show you the scale.  I think it'll be pretty cool.  Can you believe, I wrote her name on there to get an idea of where it will be, and the guy who's finishing it for us said it looked great and that they could just use my handwriting as the template for carving... almost like I got to write her name on there.

I know, it's weird.  I'm 'showing off' my daughters gravestone.  Morbid?  Maybe.  But we like it.  As much as you can like a gravestone that is.

Random... we went to the airport the other day.  Wish we had a ticket somewhere... but nope.  Sebastians idea... the kids LOVED it.  Got to watch some planes take off, a helicoptor too.  Check out pic below - these kids even find a way to enjoy and play in the parking garage! 

Otherwise, like I said I'm doing better.  Really.  My mood is up a bit.  Energy too.  But MAN am I lightheaded!  Like, every time I stand up.  Every. Time.

AND, now that we might have found the right thyroid hormone amount (YAY!) I have to start next week cutting back to zero so I can go BACK to the hospital in April and do another test (which, of course, is only accurate if I have very VERY low thyroid hormone levels).  UGH!  More on that next time.

BUT, spring is coming!!!!

The sun is shining.

And I am just so grateful.  So so grateful.

Thank you.

Stacy