It's almost April by the way...

Soooo, we all just got over one of those stuff coming out both ends/just wanna eat toast viruses.  It was... horrible.  But, we're over it.  And now I'm behind.... on even more than before.

Normal.  I think as a stay at home mom it's normal to be behind.  The perfect balance of giving the kids attention, cleaning, organizing, going outside, meditation, working out, weekly shopping, playing, teaching and everything else that comes with this job just, well, doesn't happen a lot.

And now that we're back to 'normal' (if you can say that after loosing a child and being diagnosed with cancer) Marlo has a cold... and I have to start the 4 week journey of depriving my body of the thyroid hormones it needs to function normally so I can go mid April to the hospital again for another test.

Yeah. 

(The test is only accurate when I have basically no thyroid hormone... they have to do a body scan and make sure ALL thyroid cells were killed by the radioactive iodine I swallowed in Jan. and only then can they do the old, standard, not very accurate BUT we have to do it anyway tumor marker test.)

I'm about one week in (two weeks very low hormone doses and two weeks none at all)... and I gotta say, I'm not looking forward to this.  But I'm also working through some anger at the moment... angry that I don't have a thyroid.  That I have/had cancer.  That my baby died. 

But I'm taking lots of steps to help release all these heavy emotions.  They'll probably always be there... but in manageable doses would be nice. It's actually gotten better already.  Just, slowly.  We all think that one day you'll wake up and XYZ will be better.  Cured.  All gone.  But that's not how it works... most things need time.  And lots of it.

And by the way, did you know it's almost April!?  April.  That just seems crazy.  But I'm looking forward to this spring and summer.  Lots of family time.  Therapy.  More and more sun shine. 

We've only got 9 more days for the fundraiser... let's give it one more big push and see if we can get to the goal... or at least close to it.  We've already been able to pay a bunch of bills, which is a huge relief. 

https://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/stacy-needs-your-help-healing-from-cancer-and-loss-of-child-/312142

Thank you all, for all that you've done.  We couldn't be more grateful. 

(New pics next time I promise!!)

All our love,

Stacy Wedding and family.